"Seven kids equals seven times the love."

Having a big family is not as common as it used to be. It was typical for slaves and many farm workers to have big families, usually 7 to 12 children, to maintain the workload of the family. Back in the 1970’s it was common for families to have 3-5 children, today most families only have up to 2 children. Big families have declined over the years based on the economy and society transformations. It’s costly to have a child in today’s society, let alone multiplying that expense by however many kids. It is difficult to have such a big family, but that doesn’t mean that it is impossible.

One of the biggest misconceptions (and personally my biggest pet peeve) to having a large family is that the children are wild and out of control, which couldn’t be further from the truth. Often times when I observe people in public, I tend to notice that the out-of-control, tantrum throwing child in the middle of a store/restaurant tends to always be either an only child or from a family with only two children. This is because children from big families are taught that when we go anywhere, people are watching. When a family of four goes into a restaurant, nobody really bothers them and they don’t cause any problems. However, when my family of nine enters a restaurant, there’s havoc. People act like they’ve never seen so many people all together. The moment we walked into a building we get stared at and pointed to, whispered, and the brave people actually make comments towards my family as though we are animals or family of unholy savages. This is the reason why my mom would constantly remind us to be on our best behavior, even if we were just going to a grocery store or restaurant. My mom learned and taught my brothers and sisters early on that our big family would always make a scene, but it was up to us to make it a good scene or a bad one. After receiving many speeches and reminders from mom, my siblings and I did our best to behave in public. Our behaviors never changed the fact that people would still look at my family; instead what changed was their perception.  Many big families prove that it is possible to both have a large family and still be well mannered.

Expenses that come with a big family are overbearing. There’s no way to not spend $150 or more on groceries per week when you’re feeding (what feels like) an army. The bills always costing extra because everybody just has to have their phones charged, there are more people showering and brushing teeth, not to mention the gas consuming “taxi service” to drive all the kids where they need to be. Holiday gifts are usually scarce and most likely not the most expensive/newest gadget on the market, everyone receives hand-me-downs, and going anywhere outside of the house is a big, costly event. Constantly my siblings need to be reminded between what is a want and what is a need. Financially it is hard to raise a big family, but we always make it work and make the best out of what we have. Large families tend to appreciate the things we have.

 It truly is a struggle to have a large family, but the common characteristic of all big families is appreciation. We learn early on that we aren’t going to be able to get all that we want materialistically unless we actually work for it ourselves. My family does get judged a lot, but my mom’s favorite thing to say to anyone who even tries to put down big families has always been, “Seven kids just means seven times the love.” My mom says that this with a strong tone of fulfillment and reward in her voice and though we may not get all we want, my siblings and I know that we will never be alone because we have one another.